Ahem

Dearest doctors,

Why must you mumble? Do you not realize that someone has to try to decipher your mumbo-jumbo? I have no idea how to even try to look up a word that sounds like mmmfrremaaashhhooo. Is it really that difficult to speak clearly into your little Dictaphone? Is it? Because is makes life SO much easier for me when you do. So much.

Also, when you speak very quietly I cannot hear you. Isn’t the point of speaking into your little machine so that someone can HEAR what you are saying so that they can type it up for you? That’s what I thought.

Also, when you eat (or burp…no joke) while you are talking I cannot understand a word you are saying. Didn’t your mother ever teach you not to talk with your mouth full? Apparently not. I know you are busy, but have you ever tried to listen to one of your mouth-full-of-food reports? If you did, I bet you wouldn’t be able to understand a word. Well, neither can I.

Also, when the phone is ringing very LOUDLY in the background it makes it very difficult to hear what you are saying. Not that it really matters because you are probably eating your lunch, mumbling, or speaking very quietly to begin with.

Also, if you could learn how to pronounce the names of the instruments you use and the procedures that you perform, it would help me out a lot. You are the doctor and not me, right? Oh, and if you could use some grammar that makes sense that would be great too.

Thanks a bunch,
Your transcriptionist

When I started this course I thought (like many others I’m sure), how hard could it possibly be to type up what a doctor says? Well, let me tell you, it’s a lot harder than it sounds. First of all, there is the grammar (which I'm still working on and probably always will be), the abbreviations, and the medical terminology, such as the names of procedures (ie: esophagogastroduodenoscopy and endoscopic retrograde cholangiopancreatography), instruments, and drugs, to learn. I can get the hang of all of that. The hard part is trying to figure out the mumblings of the doctors. If I could figure out how to put a sound file in here I'd give you a sample because, trust me, you would be amazed.

I guess I should also say that they're not all bad. Some actually know how to speak clearly and enunciate. I'm amazed and relieved when they do.